From: Blunderov (squooker@mweb.co.za)
Date: Thu Feb 28 2002 - 05:21:28 MST
[Blunderov]
This forwarded to me by a friend.
[Quote]
Billy Connolly's way to live life as quoted from his new book:
"Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways. Have lots of long
lie-ins. Wear sturdy socks, learn to grow out of medium underwear and, if
you must lie about your age, do it in the other direction: tell people
you're ninety-seven and they'll think you look fucking great. Try to catch
a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it
swimming away.
Never eat food that comes in a bucket. If you don't know how to meditate at
least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
Boo joggers. Don't work out, work in.
Play the banjo. Sleep with somebody you like. Eat plenty of Liquorice
Allsorts.
Try to live in a place you like. Marry somebody you like. Try to do a job
you like.
Never turn down an opportunity to shout, 'F**k them all!' at the top of your
voice.
Avoid bigots of all descriptions.
Let your own bed become to you what the Pole Star was to sailors of old...
look forward to it.
Don't wear tight underwear on aeroplanes.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares?
.... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
Clean your teeth and keep the company of people who will tell you when
there's spinach on them. Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the
company of people who are trying to understand the question.
Don't pat animals with sneaky eyes.
If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11 a.m., start one.
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international
language, it has no swearwords.
If you write a book, be sure it has exactly seventy-six 'f**k's in it.
Avoid giving LSD to guide dogs.
Don't be talked into wearing a uniform. Salute nobody. Never run with
scissors or other pointy objects.
Campaign against blue Smarties.
Above all, go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and
square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over
your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say: 'It's good to
be alive!'.
[/quote]
Fond Regards
Blunderov
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