From: Kid-A (dave_is_brewing@hotmail.com)
Date: Tue Oct 21 2003 - 09:55:47 MDT
I have a fear of fucking up.
Not failure, I can deal with that, just fucking up again...and again...and again.
I used to be scared of spiders, now i cant be bothered with them.
What does it take to conciously and rationally grasp firm control of your
life? Again, my opinion: Virian, Mold Thyself! That's right. Who are you?
Who do you want to be? When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you percieve flaws? Fix the damn things! Would you like to change anything about
yourself? DO IT!
When I used to look in the mirror all I saw was a dead person staring back at me, and thats how it was for a long time, it really does feel like I have taken control of my life since then, praise rationality!
Not that I wasn't rational before, but 6th form dragged me down, people died, it was crap, but my rational mind pulled me through, and now my greatest fear is seeing others around me become what I used to be, which was shit ....basically, the only problem is they all think i'm a kook, no matter how much I try to rationalise things for them, and make life sound much nicer, they still regress into a depressed fucked up state.
So....blah I forgot my point, please tell me if you find it somewhere
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